Well hi there,
It’s mid-December, which means time has stopped making sense, everyone is “circling back” in January, and Netflix is once again doing the bulk of our emotional regulation.
Dating hasn’t stopped — but pretending it’s fun at all costs has. The appetite for ambiguity is low. The tolerance for mixed signals is underground. And pop culture, for once, is actually reflecting that back to us instead of gaslighting us about how we’re “supposed” to feel.
This week, we’re talking about what binge culture (yes, TV — but also everything else) reveals about desire, control, and why choosing yourself isn’t a cop-out. It’s data.
Let’s get into it.
– Team Necterine
REGULATED MAIN CHARACTER ENERGY
Turns out chaos isn’t character development.
A recent Rolling Stone piece about pop girls and dating hit a nerve for a reason. It wasn’t saying anything wildly new — but it was saying something clearly: women in pop culture are done romanticizing chaos.
Not done with men.
Not done with love.
Just… done confusing emotional turbulence for depth.
Look around. Taylor Swift isn’t selling longing anymore — she’s selling authorship. Dua Lipa talks about relationships like they’re optional, not defining. Ice Spice treats desire like something you get to play with, not sacrifice yourself to.
Even the internet’s fixation on fictional men says the same thing: at least they show up consistently.
And before anyone rolls their eyes — no, this isn’t about lowering standards or opting out. It’s about noticing what actually feels good when you’re no longer auditioning for closeness.
THE COMFORT REWATCH EFFECT
Predictability is the new luxury.
Here’s the part we don’t say enough: when energy is low, the nervous system craves predictability.
Netflix works because it’s responsive. You choose. You skip. You stop when it’s not hitting. No performance review. No “just seeing where things go.” No pretending you’re chill when you’re actually irritated.
Dating apps, meanwhile, are the opposite. Endless options, zero clarity, and a weird expectation that you’ll remain optimistic while doing unpaid emotional labor for strangers.
So people are opting out — not dramatically, not forever — just quietly. Less chasing. More discernment. Fewer “maybe” connections. More things that meet them where they are.
This isn’t disengagement.
It’s self-trust catching up.
SELF-FIRST IS A FILTER, NOT A PHASE
Ease isn’t avoidance. It’s information.
There’s a reason “decentering men” stopped sounding radical and started sounding practical.
When you’re tired, overwhelmed, or in a transitional moment (hello, holidays), you don’t want to work for pleasure. You want things that respond.
Which brings us to something that fits this cultural moment more than we expected.
SPONSORED, BUT ACTUALLY RELEVANT
This “Netflix of Vibrators” Should Be In Your Shopping Cart
Poco by MysteryVibe was rated 99/100 by PureWow and dubbed “the Netflix of vibrators,” and for once, the internet wasn’t being hyperbolic.
Poco is small, bendable, and designed to adapt to your body — not the other way around. It mimics the come-hither motion of a finger, has two powerful motors, 16 intensities, and customizable vibration patterns so you’re not stuck with a one-size-fits-none experience.
It’s Bluetooth-enabled, 100% showerproof, discreet enough to travel with, and built for women who expect more from solo sex than “guess and hope.”
In a season where we’re curating everything else — rest, routines, boundaries — this feels less like a splurge and more like alignment.
Save 35% plus an extra 15% off with code H4PPY15 during MysteryVibe’s end-of-year sale (ending soon).
What are you actually craving right now?
SHE’S BACK
Tiny Guide to Being Human This Week
Because December is a lot.
You don’t have to keep engaging with things that drain you just because they could become something.
Wanting ease doesn’t make you boring; it makes you regulated.
Solo pleasure counts as self-connection. Don’t overthink it.
If something requires you to perform calm instead of feel safe, it’s not for you.
You’re allowed to enjoy where you are without narrating it as a temporary holding pattern.
You’re not behind.
You’re just paying attention.
A LAST WORD
Clarity is the quiet flex.
Pop culture isn’t telling us to want less.
It’s telling us to want better.
Not louder. Not harder. Just clearer.
And if this season is about anything, it’s learning how to choose what actually shows up for you — without apology, without explanation, and without pretending you’re fine with crumbs.
We see you.
We’re rooting for you.
xoxo,
Team Necterine
Dating sucks, but it doesn’t have to.
Necterine is a next-generation connection app to help you cultivate relationships.
Our mission is to redefine connection by celebrating every interaction. We provide tools and experiences that empower our users to discover themselves through the spectrum of relationships, from fleeting encounters to lifelong partnerships.
