Unless you’re blissfully unplugged or delightfully culturally unaware, you probably know we’re deep into Coachella season; loud, dusty, and screaming in our faces that the coolest people, in the coolest outfits, backed by the coolest brand deals, are in the desert to get content listening to the coolest artists on Earth.

It’s a whole aesthetic ecosystem: friendship bracelets, aggressive celeb PDA, corporate-sponsored hydration, an influencer-to-Porta-Potty ratio that defies nature, which is why one particular Reddit post stopped us mid-scroll.

A Reddit user posted that her boyfriend of a year and a half dumped her the night before Coachella. VIP ticket (you read that right) already bought, outfits already planned, and suddenly: no plus-one, no plan, no idea what to do. Sell the ticket? Go alone? Burn her boyfriend in effigy?

Well, her question wasn’t met with pity but with invitations, encouragement, and people saying, “tbh, solo is the move anyway.” No group chat. No shared agenda. Just vibes. Just her. And then, of course, came the flood of stories. People who’d been there, done that, and fucking loved it. Because honestly, being the one who still goes when the group chat flakes, the ex exits, or your situationship suddenly “remembers” a family thing, is iconic.

In fact, we desperately wish MORE people would try doing the big, shiny thing alone. Not for the aesthetic or narrative arc, but because how you move through something solo says a lot about how you move through love.

When you go solo:

Tell us that’s not good dating practice.

We’re not saying don’t go with friends or partners (nor are we actually saying go to Coachella, for what that’s worth). Shared experiences matter. But when you never do the thing alone, when you never take the trip, or see the show, or sit through the awkward silence without someone else there to buffer it, you miss the chance to learn how you actually feel about stuff.

And if you're someone who's always waiting for the group to commit before you do, or who only ever goes out with a plus-one, here's a lovingly raised eyebrow: Are you saying yes to what you want, or just to what’s convenient?

Whether you’re in a relationship or trying to figure it all out, going solo, on a trip, to a show, to the farmer’s market, isn’t lonely. It’s rehearsal. For being self-aware. For being present. For clarity in who you are and what you really want.

So if your Coachella plans fell through, maybe it’s the start of learning how to show up just for you.

Ok, time for your hot take👇👇👇

Not doing Coachella? Great. LA’s quieter, cooler, and finally breathable. Here’s what to do (besides downloading Necterine today) while everyone else is out heat-stroking for the vibe:

Even though you’re not in the desert, just promise us you’ll still stay hydrated, please.

Unclench your jaw. Relax your shoulders. Drop your tongue from the roof of your mouth.
Take a deep breath. And not like Doechii does in DENIAL IS A RIVER.

April is (no joke) Stress Awareness Month, which feels gently condescending considering most of us are deeply aware we’re stressed. But, the reality is that not all stress is in your face.

Stress is sneaky. It lives in your group chats, your dating app notifications, your pre-date spirals. It shows up when you say “I’m just seeing what happens,” but secretly want more. Or when you agree to go out but hope they cancel. Or when you're two drinks in and still not sure you’re emotionally present.

Dating can be fun, but it can also be a full-body sport (especially if you’re constantly managing your expectations, your calendar, and your facial expressions all at once).

So consider this your moment to check in. Are you in this because you want to be, or because you feel like you should be? You have to actually be here, to be present, to be real, to find meaningful connection. Not perfect. Not effortless. Just here.

We’re all rooting for you!

xoxo,

Team Necterine