Hi you,
Let’s be honest: modern dating is a minefield of almosts, situationships, emotional unavailability disguised as coolness, and a whole lot of pretending not to care.
You’re not the only one spiraling after a half-hearted “wyd?” text.
You’re not the only one confused by chemistry with zero consistency.
And you’re definitely not the only one doing the best you can… without ever having been taught how to date in a way that feels grounded and good.
This issue is your permission slip to name what you need and start asking for it like you mean it.
Let’s get into it.
– Team Necterine
P.S. New here? We love that. Make sure to download Necterine and get to know us even better.
LET’S TALK ABOUT WHAT’S ACTUALLY GOING ON
Turns out, it’s not just you. And it’s not that deep (except it kind of is).
Last Thursday we set up shop at 4100 in LA. Four hours of free dating advice. Non-stop conversations. And one big takeaway:
Most people are stuck in patterns they don’t even realize they’re in — and they’re starving for clarity, connection, and language to navigate the mess.
Over a dozen people pulled up. Some solo, some with friends, some who hung around and made new ones. Their stories were different. But the pain points? Uncannily the same:
“I know what I want, but I don’t know how to find it.”
“I’d rather spiral in silence than risk being ‘too much’”
“My type? Emotionally unavailable with good taste in music.”
What we saw wasn’t failure, it was proof of how many people are doing their best with zero tools, a lifetime of conflicting messages, and way too many rules about who should text first.
Most of us are just dating on autopilot. Recycling old patterns, ignoring our own needs, and hoping it just clicks. But connection doesn’t come from vibes. It comes from awareness. Self-awareness, emotional fluency, actual communication. That’s what we’re here to help you build… one pop-up, one text spiral, one "wtf just happened" moment at a time.
WHAT WE WISH MORE PEOPLE KNEW
Some truths we found ourselves saying on repeat… and the reminders we all need.
Clarity > chemistry.
Being drawn to someone doesn’t mean they’re right for you.
A vibe isn’t a match. A type isn’t a template. And if your type keeps hurting you, well babe, maybe it’s time to want something different.
Non-negotiables aren’t just a trend. They’re boundaries in disguise.
And boundaries? They’re the foundation of emotional safety.
Say the thing.
Being honest about what you need isn’t needy, it’s emotionally fluent.
Fear of rejection is loud, but truth creates connection. And if they can't meet you there? That’s your answer.
But first, get clear.
You can’t expect someone else to meet you in your needs if you haven’t figured out what those needs are. That’s your job.
Your clarity is what makes you powerful. Your voice is what makes you magnetic.
Say what you want, then be open to the one who’s ready to walk beside you.
MOVE OVER, MANCHILD
When the Lyrics Hit and the Album Art Confuses Your Therapist
Sabrina’s new single Manchild is a disco-sweet takedown of immature energy, ghosting culture, and emotional stuntedness — and the internet is eating it up.
But the cover for her upcoming album Man’s Best Friend, where she kneels while a man pulls her ponytail?
Cue the discourse.
Is it satire? Empowered kink? A wink at patriarchy?
Some say feminist reclamation. Others say it’s feeding the male gaze.
What we see is a perfect metaphor for modern dating:
Even when you’re saying what you mean, people will still misread you.
That doesn’t mean you did it wrong. It just means they’re not your person.
What’s been the hardest part of dating lately? Be honest. We’re not judging (we’ve been there).
- Saying how I really feel… without sounding unhinged
- Letting go of the wrong people (even if the bed chem is borderline illegal)
- Defining my non-negotiables… and not treating them like suggestions
- Figuring out if I actually like them, or just need to feel liked back
- Honestly? All of the above. Might be time to Venmo my therapist again.
IT’S OFFICIAL
Mark your calendar. We’re back at 4100 on 7/11. Bring the chaos.
This wasn’t a one-time booth. We’re doing free dating advice IRL every second Thursday at 4100 in Silver Lake.
No scripts. No judgment. Just real conversation, curiosity, and clarity.
Next one: July 11th kicking off @ 8pm
Bring your questions. Or your ex. Or the messiest voice memo in your group chat.
We’re here for all of it.
SHE’S BACK
Tiny Guide to Being a Human This Week
For anyone who’s spiraling, settling, or soft-launching self-worth.
A fan favorite, here are a few notes for the week ahead:
You don’t have to earn clarity by being chill.
You don’t have to decode mixed signals in silence.
You don’t have to shrink just because they’re unsure.
Romanticize your standards, not the situationship.
Buy yourself a popsicle. Text your best friend. Sit in the sun and don’t explain anything.
You’re allowed to want more, and still be soft.
We see you. We love you. We’re rooting for you.
xoxo,
Team Necterine
Dating sucks, but it doesn’t have to.
Necterine is a next-generation connection app to help you cultivate relationships.
Our mission is to redefine connection by celebrating every interaction. We provide tools and experiences that empower our users to discover themselves through the spectrum of relationships, from fleeting encounters to lifelong partnerships.
