Hi there,
It’s wild how fast our brains move when there’s even a flicker of potential. One sweet text and suddenly you’re spinning a whole storyline. Not because you’re delusional, but because you want to believe.
But real connection doesn’t happen in hypotheticals. It happens when we stay present, curious, and rooted in what’s actually unfolding.
This week, we’re breaking down how to stop future-tripping, and start tuning back into yourself.
Let’s get into it.
– Team Necterine
P.S. New here? We love that. Make sure to download Necterine and get to know us even better.
THIS WEEK’S JUICE
So, You’re in love… because they made eye contact and asked a follow-up question?
You barely know their last name, but your brain’s already planning your wedding hashtag. We get it. Future-tripping is seductive… especially these days when the bar is on the floor and the fantasy feels safer than the uncertainty of getting to know someone slowly.
But here’s the problem: potential isn’t proof. And when you fall for what might be, you ignore what is.
We’re not saying you can’t be excited. But emotional clarity starts when you stay curious about the actual experience, not the version you’ve created in your head.
You deserve to date from truth, not projection.
THE TOOL
A Reality Check-In framework
Future-tripping happens when we skip the getting-to-know-you phase and start imagining the highlight reel instead. One good date, a flirty text, or even just a promising vibe — and suddenly, your brain is halfway to a shared Spotify account.
But here’s the catch: fantasizing about who they could be makes it harder to see who they actually are. And it pulls you out of your own center.
This 4-part check-in is here to help you slow down, stay grounded, and get curious — before you get swept up:
Get present: What do you actually know about them? Not the hints, not the hope — the real stuff they’ve shown.
Check your body: Do you feel calm, seen, and at ease? Or are you anxious, overanalyzing, or doubting yourself?
Name your values: Are they showing qualities that matter to you — or just checking superficial boxes?
Ask yourself: Are you falling for them — or the fantasy of who you want them to be?
You can still enjoy the excitement — just don’t build a whole relationship on vibes alone. You deserve to move at your own pace, with clarity and self-trust.
What’s your future-tripping flavor?
- You imagined introducing them to your parents before the first kiss
- You created your joint vacation Pinterest board after one green flag
- You stayed up until 2AM analyzing every text with your best friend
- You don’t even like them that much... you just liked the attention
- Keeping it cute... but reality-checked, thanks
ICYMI: Last Thursday’s Squeeze
Still decoding a situationship that fizzled fast? We dropped a full reframe on how to reset when someone ghosts or gives mixed signals. [Catch up → here]
REMINDER:
You don’t need to make them into a story. You get to stay in your story. And the right person? They’ll make it easy to stay present, because their actions will match your reality.
xoxo,
Team Necterine
Dating sucks, but it doesn’t have to.
Necterine is a next-generation connection app to help you cultivate relationships.
Our mission is to redefine connection by celebrating every interaction. We provide tools and experiences that empower our users to discover themselves through the spectrum of relationships, from fleeting encounters to lifelong partnerships.
