Well hi there,
Today we’re talking about love bombing — where the honeymoon starts immediately and ends without warning.
We’re unpacking why we fall for fast starts, how to tell the difference between connection and curated intensity, and what to do when something felt so real… and suddenly isn’t.
Let’s get into it.
– Team Necterine
TOO GOOD TOO SOON
Love bombing isn’t always calculated. But it’s still a red flag.
It moves fast. It feels big. It hits your nervous system like a drug.
And for a second, you start to believe: maybe this is what love is supposed to feel like.
The rush. The intensity. The “I can’t believe I met you” energy.
It’s flattering. It’s affirming. It fills every empty space that dating has left behind.
But here’s the thing:
When someone comes on strong before there’s time, trust, or depth —
it’s not always because they’re trying to manipulate you.
Sometimes they’re just lonely.
Or chasing a feeling.
Or trying to skip ahead to the part where everything feels safe.
But no matter the reason, the result is the same:
You’re caught in a connection that feels real… but was built on speed, not substance.
Love bombing doesn’t start with abuse.
It starts with attention.
And that’s what makes it so hard to spot — and so easy to confuse with the real thing.
Let’s define it:
Love bombing is the use of excessive affection, praise, and intensity in the early stages of connection to create a false sense of closeness — often before trust, intimacy, or compatibility have actually been built.
WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE
The red flags you might overlook (especially when you’re tired of dating like a rotting Victorian ghost):
They say “I’ve never felt this way” before date three
You’re texting 24/7 but haven’t had one grounded, real convo
They make big promises early — and get distant when things feel real
They seem obsessed with you but can’t actually reflect anything meaningful about you
You feel like you’re in a relationship… but also like you’re walking on eggshells
OK, but what if it just feels good?
Great question. Because intensity isn’t always bad.
Here’s the difference:
Love Bombing | Healthy Intensity |
|---|---|
Fast-forwarding the relationship | Building trust as you go |
Over-promising, vague follow-through | Consistent actions that match words |
Pedestal vibes, not personal interest | Genuine curiosity about you |
Reacts poorly when you ask for space | Respects your pace without punishment |
Pushes for certainty immediately | Comfortable with things unfolding |
If you feel like you’re being swept — pause and check:
Are they with you in this moment, or already skipping to the credits?
What tipped you off that it wasn’t real connection?
THE FINE PRINT
Why we fall for it
Love bombing works because it feels like connection.
Because attention lights up your brain like a slot machine.
Because the slowness of real intimacy is uncomfortable — and this feels easier.
Because part of you still believes that if it starts fast, it must be fate.
It taps into your hope. Your longing. Your exhaustion.
And it makes you feel chosen — before you’ve even chosen them.
So if you’re sitting in the aftermath of something that felt big and disappeared, here’s what we want you to remember:
It felt real… because you were real.
Your openness. Your hope. Your care. That was real.
But if it ended the moment you slowed down, asked for clarity, or stopped performing —
what you lost wasn’t love. It was the illusion of safety through speed.
And here’s the truth:
Intensity isn’t the same as intimacy.
If someone’s coming on strong, it doesn’t automatically mean they’re love bombing you.
But if their pace is making you abandon your own?
That’s not romance — that’s dysregulation.
Real connection takes time. It unfolds. It checks in.
It doesn’t need to sell itself.
And if someone fades the second you stop performing?
Let them.
NEED SUPPORT?
If you’re spiraling post-love bomb, trying to trust yourself again, or wondering how to slow things down next time — our coaching can help.
We’ll help you name the pattern, reconnect with your pace, and stop settling for performance dressed as love.
xoxo,
Team Necterine
Dating sucks, but it doesn’t have to.
Necterine is a next-generation connection app to help you cultivate relationships.
Our mission is to redefine connection by celebrating every interaction. We provide tools and experiences that empower our users to discover themselves through the spectrum of relationships, from fleeting encounters to lifelong partnerships.
