Good morning!
As a dating app, we’re legally required to talk about love. So here we are, tackling one of the biggest debates: is love at first sight the real deal, or just your brain throwing a dopamine-fueled surprise party? We’re unpacking the tension between the spark and the substance, the chemistry and the calculus. No easy answers, but definitely a conversation worth having.
And btw if things feel a little different around here, it’s not you, it’s us—we gave the newsletter a little facelift. Let us know what you think (just hit reply; we actually read these). And while you’re at it, pass this along to your single friends. An invite to our upcoming events might just be the plot twist their love life needs.
—The Necterine Team
Let’s talk about love. We do that a lot here.
Specifically, love at first sight. It’s one of those stories we all know—eyes lock, hearts race, and suddenly, we’re convinced we’ve found “the one.” It’s exciting, intoxicating, and who doesn’t love the idea of it? But before we start booking weddings, it’s worth asking: is it love? Or are we just caught up in the rush of it all?
We get it. That initial spark feels real. It’s easy to get swept away in the moment, but there’s a difference between that initial chemistry and the kind of love that’s built to last. Sure, that chemistry is fun—who isn’t in desperate need of doesn’t like a good rush of dopamine? But it’s also important to ask yourself if it’s more than just a fleeting fantasy. Could it be love bombing? Limerence? Maybe it's just your brain on the excitement of the unknown. The thing is, that initial connection doesn’t have to be the connection. Real, lasting love takes time, trust, and a whole lot more than just a spark.
There’s no shame in feeling swept away—it’s part of the human experience. But just know that real, lasting love isn’t built on the flash of a moment. It’s about trust, patience, and a willingness to grow together. So the next time you feel that spark, ask yourself: am I in love with the person, or am I in love with the idea of this person? It’s a subtle but important difference. And you deserve a love that grows deeper, not just burns brightly for a moment.
Counter Evidence
Ok, but what about Colman Domingo?
This past weekend, a clip of Colman Domingo on The Graham Norton Show went viral, and not because seeing one of the world’s hottest men without his mustache is a touch of a jumpscare. But rather, when he met his husband, Raúl (through a Craigslist missed connection, we might add), he was sure he’d found the one. It wasn’t a slow-burn kind of thing, where the universe conspires in subtle, whispering ways. No, he just knew, like a bolt of lightning striking a very specific target.
It’s a kind of certainty that you don’t often hear about, not in a world that loves a good, messy, complicated love story. It’s a rare kind of wisdom, really: that love can strike quickly, with a clarity that bypasses the usual romantic chaos. Just a moment, an undeniable connection, and a man who knew, immediately, that his life would never be the same.
So, What Does This All Mean for You?
Love at first sight isn’t wrong. It’s okay to feel that rush, to feel something real in a moment of intense connection. But here’s the thing, be aware. That instant chemistry doesn’t always equal healthy, lasting love. It can be exciting, sure, but it’s also a moment to ask yourself: What really is this?
So, love a first sight?
Let’s Go on a Date
Here’s what’s going on this weekend in LA if you’re looking for a good time with (or without) a date:
Chinatown First Fridays - Stroll the neighborhood, explore unique shops, enjoy delicious food, sip cocktails, and discover contemporary art. This month's event runs from 5 to 11 p.m. at Far East Plaza. Free to attend, as always.
Bar Nuda - Head to Silverlake Reservoir Park on March 9th for a laid-back afternoon with Bar Nuda and friends. You’ll get in some pilates, meditation, and journaling, plus sip on zero-proof drinks and check out local vendors. Minimum donation of $15 for activities.
Rosebowl Flea Market - If you’ve been wanting to test if going is the LA equivalent of surviving an Ikea trip together, this is your reminder to stress test your date this Sunday, March 9th at the Rosebowl.
