For decades, sitcoms made it seem like everyone hit their stride by 22… first love, first heartbreak, maybe even first wedding. Now? People are swiping through their late 20s and 30s, stacking penpal situationships and three-month fizzles like merit badges.

The data backs it up:

But culture hasn’t caught up. We still talk about the 28-year-old who’s “never had a boyfriend” like it’s a scandal, not a statistic.

Apps taught us how to swipe. They didn’t teach us how to stay.

Without practice, you stay a rookie. You can ace the banter, you can spark chemistry, a but if you’ve never navigated the doubts, mismatched expectations, or the inevitable month-three wobble, you’ll assume it means you’re bad at love.

You’re not. You’re unpracticed. There’s a difference.

And the only way you get practice is by logging reps. Not highlight-reel, soul-mate, “forever” reps. Just the messy, un-cinematic reps of trying, failing, recalibrating, and trying again.

If you’ve never had a long-term relationship, it doesn’t mean you’re broken or behind. It just means your practice field looks different.

Think about it: no one expects you to deadlift 200 pounds without training. Why do we expect ourselves to “just know” how to handle intimacy, conflict, or compromise without practice?

Even short connections matter. The three-month fizzles, the almosts, the false starts — they’re the shallow end of the pool. The place you flail, gasp, and eventually figure out how not to drown.

Every time you choose clarity instead of silence, or honesty instead of avoidance, you’re building muscle memory. That’s the rep that counts.

The myth of being “behind” at love only makes people hide. But there’s nothing to hide. Never having been in a relationship isn’t a deficit, it’s just a different path.

The truth is, every relationship (or almost-relationship) gives you two choices: replay the past, or practice the future. And practice doesn’t come with a stopwatch.

So no, you’re not late. You’re right on time for your own life.

So now that we’ve talked about where you’re at, let’s flip it: what do you actually want from us? We’ve been throwing you tools, hot takes, dating trends, and even some history lessons, but what keeps you opening? What actually lands?

This isn’t a one-way street. We want this newsletter to feel like the friend who texts you the thing you didn’t know you needed. So tell us…

One last thing… we’ll say this loud for the back row: you don’t need a highlight reel to prove you’re lovable. You just need the courage to start where you are.

And we’ve got you.

xoxo,

Team Necterine