If a man has no female friends, he’s telling you — without realizing it — that he doesn’t see women as peers. He sees them as potential partners, potential threats, or potential ego boosts. But equals? Rarely.

It’s not about mandating a co-ed friend group like it’s an ’08 rom-com audition. It’s about relational fluency. Exposure. Respect. Basic humanization.

Women know the difference instantly. A man who’s only ever interacted with women he wanted something from usually has a thinner emotional vocabulary, a shorter fuse for discomfort, and a longer record of mistaking boundaries for rejection.

A man who has women in his life as friends?
He’s practiced at listening.
He understands nuance.
He knows feelings aren’t a trapdoor.
He knows women don’t exist to meet his needs.

The red flag isn’t “he doesn’t have time for female friends.” The red flag is he’s lived 25–35 years on Earth and somehow hasn’t built a single meaningful, non-sexual relationship with half the population.

That’s not an accident. That’s a pattern.

The latest Pew data says high school girls increasingly don’t want to get married, while boys are leaning in. The internet keeps asking: What does this mean? Why are women backing away?

Because they’re paying attention.

Girls are watching their mothers do the most emotional and logistical labor in the household. They’re watching boys their age struggle with communication, empathy, and conflict. They’re watching what relationships actually look like — not the filtered version sold to them.

They’re not anti-love. They’re pro-self-preservation.

Women aren’t checking out of marriage. They’re checking out of being unpaid emotional infrastructure for someone who hasn’t done his own work.

This is the widening gap Necterine exists to close: Women’s standards are rising; men’s skill-building isn’t keeping pace.

Love used to be an economic necessity for women. Now it’s a choice — and increasingly, a strategic one.

Vice says people need to loosen their dating lists. And yes — if your list reads like you’re casting a Marvel reboot, you’re not looking for a partner, you’re looking for a prop.

But the Necterine POV is this: Your list shouldn’t be shorter. It should be deeper.

“Finance, trust fund, “6’5”, blue eyes” is not a list — it’s Mad Libs for disappointment.

Your real list is:

The superficial list is easy because it protects you from intimacy. The values list is hard because it asks you to show up fully — and require them to do the same.

That’s why so many people cling to rigid “types”: It’s easier to date a fantasy than to risk being known.

If a man isn’t friends with women, look at how he talks about them. If he doesn’t respect women as equals, listen to how he reacts to boundaries. If girls are opting out of marriage, ask what boys aren’t learning. If your list is mostly adjectives and aesthetics, ask what you’re avoiding.

Dating isn’t broken because humans changed. It’s broken because expectations did. Women expect partnership. Men often still expect support.

At Necterine, we’re not here to vilify anyone — just to help people meet where they actually are, not where they wish they were.

Opposite-sex friendships matter.
Values-based lists matter.
Self-honesty matters.

Everything else is strategy.

xoxo,
Team Necterine