There’s a new wave of dating events cropping up in San Francisco—RSVPs close at 3 PM, locations drop last minute, and your ticket in is often your job title, LinkedIn profile, or who can vouch for you. People are dressing in color-coded outfits to signal their relationship status, and organizers are proudly curating the crowd like it’s a Met Gala for the emotionally available.

But let’s call it what it is: exclusivity masquerading as intention.

It’s no wonder these events are popping up in response to dating app fatigue. Swiping all day just to feel ghosted and ignored is exhausting. But trading one unhealthy system for another, one that filters for status, followers, and social capital, isn’t a solution. It’s just a prettier gate.

At Necterine, we can’t say what’s right or wrong with brazen authority because the truth is, if it works, it works. That said, we believe that if finding love requires a referral or a sponsor, the system is broken. That kind of curation reinforces the same toxic ideas dating apps do: that your value is tied to how impressive or palatable you seem. That you're only worth loving if someone pre-approves you. That love is a reward for being desirable enough.

We reject that.

We’re here to build a space that doesn’t require credentials. One that welcomes people who are figuring themselves out. One where the goal isn’t to be impressive, it’s to be real. Because love shouldn’t be exclusive; it should be expansive. And no app or velvet rope should get to decide who deserves to feel connected.

We’re not here to make dating more elite. We’re here to make it more human. Because at the core of humanity is connection.

Ok, stepping off the soap box. Now, be honest, this is a safe space…👇👇👇

NO RSVP (BUT MAYBE A TICKET) REQUIRED

While we know LA fucking loves a line (a fact the entire staff at Necterine cannot understand), we thought we’d bring you some cute goings-on this weekend to have fun, meet, be met or just see what happens with minimal line time required:

DO YOUR THING UNIVERSE

This past week at the SIlverlake Flea Market (hello to all the lovelies we met while we were there btw) we had the pleasure of having two people tell us about that brief, chaotic moment when the vibe was there, the timing wasn’t, and now they’re just hoping the other person also felt it while reaching for the same overpriced “dairy-free beverage” at Erewhon… aka their missed connections.

Todd, Silver Lake Erewhon
You were debating between two brands of non-dairy creamer and made a joke about how “none of this is actually food.” I laughed, maybe too quickly. I was the guy in the oversized sweater, even though it was arguably too hot to be wearing it, pretending not to freak out that we made eye contact twice.

If you felt it too, let’s not let Los Angeles be the reason we never actually speak.

Maya, Stories Bookstore / Echo Park Farmers Market
We met outside of Stories after I think you’d just finished browsing. I’d seen your art before at an art show devoted to the LA fires. Your work was really striking. We ended up buying a succulent together at the farmers market but didn’t trade info.

My name’s Jordan and if this rings a bell, I’d love to actually finish the conversation.

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