Most people aren’t taught how to communicate what they want — let alone how to hold space for someone else’s needs. So instead of conversations, we get mixed signals. Instead of clarity, we get emotional breadcrumbing. And instead of feeling chosen, we end up confused and questioning our worth.

But here’s the truth: their lack of communication doesn’t mean you did something wrong — it just means they don’t have the tools. And it’s not your job to teach someone how to show up.

Your job is to get crystal clear on what you want. To own your needs. To ask for them out loud. And to walk away when someone can’t meet you where you’re at.

Because that’s not only emotionally mature — it’s hot.

*SPOILER ALERT* If you haven’t seen Materialists yet and want to go in blind, skip this section for now. You’ve (officially) been warned!

We’d be remiss not to talk about Materialists, the film everyone’s buzzing about — especially since it taps directly into the kind of transactional, aesthetics-first dating world we’re working to disrupt.

The movie follows Lucy, a New York matchmaker in a romantic entanglement that trades intimacy for security. She’s dating Harry (Pedro Pascal), a wealthy investor, while reconnecting with her ex John (Chris Evans), a broke-but-emotionally-attuned cater waiter. The film critiques the performance of femininity, the economics of desire, and how women are taught to optimize for stability over connection.

But here’s our take: while Materialists raises some sharp questions, it ultimately reinforces a few tired tropes. That you can either have the spark or the safety. That love is a zero-sum game. That women have an expiration date — and better pick fast before time runs out.

To us, that’s the whole problem.

At Necterine, we’re building a new model. One rooted in emotional awareness, clarity, and confidence in what you want — without shame. We know that dating is messy and nonlinear. That sometimes it feels like a game you never learned the rules to. That the real work of connection isn’t about choosing between two options, but about understanding your own values, needs, and desires well enough to choose yourself first.

That doesn’t mean you “get everything you want” on a silver platter. But it also doesn’t mean you have to settle for less than you deserve.

Our takeaway:
We don’t need more narratives telling us to sacrifice desire for stability, or ambition for love. We need spaces that help us tune into what matters — and tools that help us grow through every connection, even the ones that fall apart. That’s what Necterine is here for. Because your love life isn’t a cautionary tale — it’s your story to write.

Tuesday’s Juice dropped a full step-by-step guide for what to do when you’re spiraling after a situationship — including tools to help you check in with what you actually want. [Catch up → here]

Reminder — you don’t need to contort yourself into the person they might want. You get to ask for what you want. And the right person? They won’t flinch when you do.

You’re not too much. You’re just getting clearer.

xoxo,

Team Necterine