When a trend takes over TikTok, it’s rarely just about the song. It’s about the way it taps something raw in the culture.

Sabrina Carpenter’s Nobody’s Son is basically a chorus of collective trauma. The lyrics aren’t just sad-girl pop; they’re a mirror of how many of us feel: unchosen, unseen, disposable. Pair that with thousands of videos captioned with our most recent breakup stories and you’ve got an anthem for ghosting fatigue.

Meanwhile, Olivia Dean’s The Man I Need is gaining traction for the exact opposite reason. It’s hope set to melody. Clips of boyfriends cooking, partners showing tenderness, dudes holding babies — a curated feed of men being soft, kind, steady. Proof that the bar isn’t on the floor.

Here’s the uncomfortable truth: both songs are true. Men can be the ones we need. And men do fail spectacularly. The reason these trends hit so hard is because most of us are living in the tension between the two.

It’s not pessimism vs optimism. It’s two sides of the same dating coin — swiping between disappointment and desire, caught in the middle of a system that never taught us how to connect better.

Yes, Nobody’s Son calls out men. Yes, Man I Need lifts them up. But zoom out: these songs resonate because we’ve all felt unseen, unsupported, or let down by someone we trusted.

Men are terrified of rejection. Women are exhausted by carrying the emotional weight. Queer folks navigate micro-communities where everyone’s dated everyone. Straight, gay, bi, nonbinary — nobody escapes the ache of wanting to be chosen and supported for who they are.

So this isn’t just a gender story. It’s a human one.

Good men (read: partners) aren’t unicorns. But they also don’t just appear because we wish harder. What we’re really craving — what both trends are screaming for — is a system that raises, encourages, and rewards emotional maturity. A dating culture where we are taught to communicate, taught to set standards, and all sides are actually supported in learning how to love well.

Maybe the answer isn’t sulking in our corners, but actually learning.
Learning to talk about needs without waiting until we explode.
Learning to support instead of silently testing.
Learning that rejection isn’t fatal, it’s practice.

That’s what Man I Need really is: not a perfect person, but someone who’s willing to learn with you.

That’s why we’re building Necterine. Not to replace hope, but to make it practical. To help you stop swiping between extremes and start building the connections you deserve — in real life, with real skills, not just another song on your feed.

We don’t have to stay stuck between abandonment ballads and fantasy partners. The future of love — whoever you are, whoever you love — looks like relationships where we practice being the partner we want to find. Messy, imperfect, still showing up.

If your FYP is serving heartbreak and hope in equal measure, you’re not broken. You’re just in the thick of it, like the rest of us. Keep the standards, keep the softness, and remember: the songs might loop, but your story doesn’t have to.

xoxo,

Team Necterine