Lately, our timelines have been full of people loud looking, aka declaring, with full chest (and perfect lighting), that they’re ready for love. And not just any love. A certain kind. A specific kind. The kind with soft-launch photos, shared values, and matching adult schedules.

Honestly? We’re not mad at it. After a decade of ghosting, breadcrumbing, and the emotional equivalent of eating cereal for dinner, wanting something real, and saying so out loud, feels like a fucking radical act. Loud looking is brave. It’s intentional. It’s attractive. We’re fans.

But.

(There’s always a but with us)

Clarity is great, but like we waxed philosophical last week, certainty is often a fantasy dressed up as a boundary. Wanting love is not the same as knowing exactly what it’s supposed to look like, or arrive like, or feel like. Sometimes the algorithm doesn’t get it right. Sometimes you don’t get it right. And that’s okay.

Rules are comforting. Human brains are obsessed with structure and will figure out how to land the Yurchenko double pike vault in an effort to create meaning out of nothing. But, like we talk about a lot, structure without softness can become a fortress. The danger of loud looking is when it stops being a declaration and starts becoming a script, a set of criteria so specific that it crowds out the actual people who might surprise you.

The truth? Love and connection don’t usually thrive in illusions. They thrive in curiosity. In elasticity. In staying open just long enough to be wrong, and maybe finding yourself delighted by that.

So yes, look loudly. Want loudly. But leave room for the kind of wanting that’s soft around the edges. The kind that doesn’t just say “this is what I need,” but also asks, “what might I not know yet?”

Because the good stuff, the stuff that actually lasts, tends to show up a little sideways. And it usually doesn’t knock.

Time to get self-aware and answer below…👇👇👇

While we would generally recommend avoiding the desolate wasteland that is X formerly known as Twitter, one of the most unhinged (read: our favorite) tweet-prediction-turned-memes is that by the year 2025 women will be having sex with more robots than men.

*laughs in existential dread*

We’re bringing your attention to this for a few reasons. First, it was insane in 2016, it’s still insane now, our brand manager is obsessed with the headline, and unless our friends have secret sexbots in their closets, we don’t know anyone having sex with robots.

But secondly, it was a strange but telling prediction of where everyone thought connection was headed. Fast forward to the present, and apps like the one that starts with T and rhymes with shminder are still leaning into tech-driven solutions, without actually addressing the real need for authentic connection. We hate that.

Necterine isn’t here to chase after every new flashy tech or gimmicky innovation. Yes, we use AI, but only to prompt you to invest in yourself, believe in your potential, and help you find meaningful connections IRL. Spoiler alert: there’s no quick fix to building real connection. It’s not about algorithms, it’s about learning how to cultivate what truly matters. Healthy habits, real connections, and time-tested practices; that’s our foundation.

Moral of the story: if you’re horny for R2-D2, do you, babe. Otherwise, download Necterine today.

We’ve really demanded a lot of brain power over these last few newsletters. As a little treat for being great (you really are the best), we want to leave you with this haiku, which represents the state of dating these days:

He said, “Let’s get drinks.”
Showed up with his mom and snake.
I paid. I’m healing.

We’re all healing, and we’re all rooting for you!

xoxo,

Team Necterine