Hi you,
Starting today, Tuesdays hit different.
Welcome to The Juice - our newest drop from Necterine, designed to give you quick, actionable tools to build dating self-awareness in real time.
It’s bite-sized. It’s emotionally intelligent. It’s here to help you grow.
Why are we doing this? Because most dating content just talks about love, we want to help you do it better.
More confidence. More clarity. More connection.
And honestly? Way fewer “how did I end up here again?” moments.
Let’s get into it.
– Team Necterine
P.S. New here? We love that. Make sure to download Necterine and get to know us even better.
RED FLAG, BEIGE FLAG, OR JUST A PERSONAL ICK?
You know what you want, but what would make you walk?
Here’s a dating truth most people don’t realize:
Just because something bugs you doesn’t mean it’s a red flag.
Just because something feels good doesn’t make it a green flag.
And just because you want something… doesn’t make it a non-negotiable.
Let’s break it down:
✅ Preference | Something you like but can compromise on.
“I want someone who’s over 6 feet.”
🟢 Green Flag | Something that signals emotional health.
“They communicate clearly and listen well.”
🚩 Red Flag | A sign of potential harm or emotional immaturity.
“They lash out when they don’t get their way.”
❌ Non-Negotiable | A core value or need. If it’s missing, you’re out.
“They respect my boundaries and want the same kind of relationship I do.”
Most people confuse the first three — and end up holding onto the wrong things or letting go of the right ones.
THE TOOL
Time to Define Your Non-Negotiables
A real non-negotiable isn’t just a strong preference. It’s a line in the sand. A boundary rooted in your values, needs, and long-term well-being. Period, full stop.
Try this 3-step clarity check:
1. Look Back
Think of a past situationship, relationship, or dating experience that ended badly.
What felt off? What was missing? What would you never put up with again?
✍️ Example:
“They constantly made me feel unsure about where we stood.”
→ Possible non-negotiable: Consistency and emotional clarity.
2. Zoom Out
Let’s be real, we all want someone who’s kind and respectful. But true non-negotiables are the things that define your unique boundaries, needs, and dealbreakers. It’s the stuff you absolutely can’t flex on, even if everything else clicks.
Here’s a tighter, more reflective list to get you thinking. Pick the 3–5 that feel most core to you:
They want the same kind of relationship I do (e.g. casual vs committed)
They’re emotionally available and self-aware
We share core values (like ambition, family, lifestyle)
We’re aligned on big picture stuff: kids, marriage, religion
We’re sexually and physically compatible
They prioritize mental health (therapy, growth, regulation)
They communicate clearly and consistently
They respect my independence and identity
I feel safe, seen, and calm around them — not anxious or unsure
You might also have lifestyle-specific ones:
“I don’t want to date a smoker.”
“I won’t do long-distance again.”
“I need someone who’s financially stable.”
“They have to be okay with my work schedule/kids/poly identity/etc.”
The key is clarity:
Would I walk away if this was missing?
If yes → that’s a non-negotiable.
If not → it might just be a preference.
3. Gut Check
For each value you selected, ask yourself:
If this was missing, even if everything else was great, would I still want to stay?
If the answer is no → ding ding ding! that’s a non-negotiable.
Pro tip: Keep your list tight. 3-5 non-negotiables max.
Too many and you’re chasing perfection. Too few and you’re setting yourself up to settle.
What's your current top non-negotiable in dating?
SWIPE SCENARIO
They’re hot, funny, and seem super into you… but say they “don’t believe in therapy” and think attachment styles are BS. They treat you well otherwise.
Is this a preference mismatch or real deal-breaker?
💬 Tell us yours:
What’s a real non-negotiable you’ve learned the hard way?
DM us and we just might feature our favorite answers next Tuesday 👀
We’re rooting for you.
xoxo,
Team Necterine
Dating sucks, but it doesn’t have to.
Necterine is a next-generation connection app to help you cultivate relationships.
Our mission is to redefine connection by celebrating every interaction. We provide tools and experiences that empower our users to discover themselves through the spectrum of relationships, from fleeting encounters to lifelong partnerships.
