Hi you,
We started this issue with a simple question: what does real connection look like when you're not in crisis, but also not quite thriving?
Turns out, it looks like a lot of things. Like learning the difference between being alone and being lonely. Like realizing your emotional life doesn’t need a soulmate or a self-diagnosed attachment style to matter. Like taking the time to answer a survey that’s really important because you're tired of using tools that don’t actually get you. Like showing up to a flea market with questions, curiosity, or just a vague hope someone cute will compliment your outfit.
This week, we’re inviting you into all of that.
There’s no formula for doing this right. But if you're here, you’re already doing the part that matters: trying.
Let’s figure it out together.
– Team Necterine
P.S. That survey we just mentioned? It’s helping us understand how to create the best, most useful Necterine possible. You can read more about it below, but if you do nothing else, help us out by filling it out.
FIGURING IT OUT
Some Assembly Required
Society talks a lot about connection, but only in extremes. It feels like it’s either romantic (soulmate, twin flame, eternal situationship, blah blah blah) or it’s something more sinister: connected to a crime, a scandal, a cover-up, or the reason someone joined the cult du jour. What we rarely talk about is the kind of connection that happens in the middle, the slow and steady kind that doesn’t need a storyline. And so, in that silence, we find ourselves without a map, and our loneliness echoes louder.
There’s a difference between being alone and being lonely. Being alone can be peaceful, generative, even joyful. It can look like going to dinner by yourself and sitting at a table rather than the bar because bar chairs are the modern versions of Victorian-era torture devices. It can look like a night in that isn’t a failure to rally, but a decision to rest. Or, at the other extreme, going to Coachella by yourself.
Loneliness is something else. It’s not about whether people are around. It’s about whether you feel like you’re allowed to show up as yourself. You can feel deeply lonely in a crowd, at a dinner party, in a long-term relationship.
But we know this already, don’t we? We know loneliness is everywhere. On the subway, in the comments section, next to us in bed. We know it’s shaping our health, our politics, our personalities. Naming it isn’t the hard part. The hard part is: what now?
At Necterine, we’re not here to romanticize loneliness or diagnose it like a trend. We have tools in-app that are here to meet you in the middle, where you might not be in crisis, but you also don’t feel quite okay. Because from what we’ve seen, real connection starts when you stop chasing the version that looks good on paper, and start noticing what actually feels nourishing.
That kind of noticing takes practice. It takes awkward group hangs, conversations that go nowhere, and occasionally texting “you home?” to someone you haven’t seen in months. It’s not a formula. It’s a muscle.
No app can track that shit for you. No friend can do it for you. But you’re not alone in trying. And when you start choosing the kind of connection that lets you be seen, not perform, not fix, just be, that’s when loneliness starts to shift. Not all at once. But slowly. Like finally realizing what you’ve been missing, and knowing it’s possible to feel it again
NO CRYSTAL BALL, JUST YOU
SHARE YOUR TAKE. BUILD THE FUTURE OF NECTERINE
We’ve said it before: connection shouldn’t feel like emotional roulette. And neither should the apps trying to fix it.
Necterine is built on the belief that emotional growth, self-awareness, and real support are non-negotiables, not nice-to-haves. But we’re not here to make something that sounds good in a deck. We’re here to make something that actually helps. That means building it with the people who get it: you.
This is your chance to tell us what’s working, what’s not, and what you actually need when it comes to dating, connection, and the weird liminal space in between.
The survey takes less than five minutes, but your insight? That’ll shape what we create next: tools, features, or whatever you need most.
IRL, LFG
COME MEET US AT THE SILVERLAKE FLEA MARKET
Guess what? 😉
We’re bringing Necterine back to the Silverlake Flea Market. Because last time? It worked. People showed up, asked questions, flirted, and yes, someone definitely left with a phone number (and a pair of very questionable cowboy boots).
Need a pep talk? A reality check? A second opinion on those jeans you just bought? We got you. We’ll also be casually observing the dating dynamics of the flea market crowd and offering our unfiltered commentary.
THE DEETS
Where: The Silverlake Flea Market
1911 Sunset Blvd. LA CA 90026
When: Sunday, April 27, 2025
Time: 9:30a-3:30p
Come find us. We promise, it’ll be fun. And if you spot someone cute, we’ll absolutely play wingman.
We’re all rooting for you!
xoxo,
Team Necterine
Dating apps suck, but they don’t have to.
Necterine is a next-generation app to help you find (and cultivate) relationships.
Our mission is to redefine connection by celebrating every interaction. We provide tools and experiences that empower our users to discover themselves through the spectrum of relationships, from fleeting encounters to lifelong partnerships.
